long leap.....

Seven years and few months. I revert back to writing. its so peaceful. the satisfying silence .. things have changed .. thoughts have revolutionised and the physical strength decreased. the energy levels struggling to be the same. Love and fire are antagonistically opposite to each other..the trust levels have dropped , the experiences have brightened. the unsolved mysteries makes sense and the incomplete sentences appear more lucid. the smiles have become ambiguous and the tears have become real.


I have changed many places .. many rooms..many flatmates , shifted jobs and welcomed many guests.. some crosswords still remain present.while some puzzle pieces fall into places. easy words and simple sentences comprise most part of the vocabulary now..


I belong to the medical fraternity and so have been the witness to spectrum of changes. some welcomed but many unsolicited. saw many of them make history and many of them fall.. then making history after rising up.. failures and success makes more sense now. The trial to achieve vibrance takes a more indispensable stage now.


After completing nearly three decades of my life I discern that the moments of your childhood frame you. they always make u strong , be it anything. the childhood is the most luxurious yet the hardworking stage in our life. we grow up ..we substructure ourselves .. we contemplate .. we repudiate opinions .. we do that on basis of our vision and witnessing facts. I relate to my childhood on each step of my life. I take suggestions from those school days and realise that I was stronger as far dealing with multiple actions. I try to pacify myself in multiple situations and try dealing some or the other fact. .Its difficult to grow up definitely. but more difficult is losing the childhood . losing the dynamicity.


Grow up but keep the child alive inside you.. coz innocence is fundamental ..

Spandan-2010

each year i tend to feel a lotttt nostalgic about the four eventful days wrapping my college fest and the competitions!! i deciphered the reason!!!!! coz these four days i tend to run an absolute erratic routine.. and with its end have to revert back to the same old clock!! changes are appreciable sometimes!! but i loved SPANDAN dis year!!!!!!!!!!! indelible memories marked!! some moments will be cherished throughout.....

I love to get exhausted after dancing.. it’s the best way to forget one’s sorrows!! Perhaps.. the best way to detach from the unpitying inanimate environment. But after the brief period of my illness I have lost the incessant energy that I used to possess!! I lose breath easily.. I fall. I cling to myself often during the music.. I look for slow beats!! I hate myself for that.. I want to keep on dancing.. on and on.. I love the swirls.. I love the bends.. I love the head roll-ons.. I love the varied forms of dancing.. I love bharatnatyam.. I love kathak.. I love contemporary, though my flexibility is limited..
And I love the smile after I get tired..
Well people dance when in love.. but then why most of the dance forms point to sorrows?? Indicate that they have been deceived. The oblivion is manifested. And presented as a form.. Strange are the ways.. But am in love with this eccentric form of art so much so that I wish I was a superwomen who would harbor infinite energy to go on with the beats.. A friend of mine said I dance nice though he has never seen me dancing.. on being asked for the reason for the comment, he said coz, I glow with bliss when I talk about dance..

But I still am incomplete.. once in my lifetime I wish to learn bailey.. Its still an astonishment for me!

A sms received from ma fren read this:

I've learnt.

I came alone and I'v to go alone

people will call you only when they need you
not otherwise

a simple lie from your close one can break you
more than anything

Its very hard to weep alone when there's
no shoulder to support you

Ultimately I v learnt
Help people but not beyond your dignity....

Intermittent euphoria....

Its elegant to ogle at the rains falling..The coconut tree far away sways charmingly to the tunes.. It’s a beautiful morning.. the clouds have masked the sun to make the shades of grey prominent. The curtains are brushing softly against my face.. I am diffident.. The softness of the rains still make me hide my face away. Its been a long time that I have had my own life within hands.. I have always wished to fly.. but somehow I missed my wings..
today once gain after many days I am with me.. for the past many days I have been quite busy with some work.. a kind of venture which will lead to some moments of happiness at the end..
I often think that the cosmos understands what your stance is ..and it’s eventually the efforts put in by your own soul that results in the completion of the wishes. Empathy, solace and impetus are given by your own mind,supposedly the bravest warrior.. and then you win.. I have been doing it rather trying to win over my heart over quite a long period of time. I have ratified quite a number of wishes made by my naive heart.. I gifted myself some special gifts.. I kept my self busy and I also tried to stay away from all the controversies.. I gave my self some good bouts of concentration along with some episodes of happiness..

I have tried to stay NO to many situations.. to many people ..to many guidelines.. This cheery nature has incessantly led to troubles.. I have tried to change it enthusiastically but have botched.. i have got mystified…

which one is wrong-- Being the Way I AM for the last 22 yrs or Not Being the Way,the other people are for the last, ‘n’ years..??

:(

i hate those dwarfs f my college.. i hate them coz not only they have a extremely short "mind" but also they are short of manners and ethics.. i m high on patience as far as raging me is concerned..but why do i keep hurting myself for some worthy reasons which i myself wanna mark as useless??
is being the part of new experiments wrong?? as the main experimental part??

Eye-the different vision..

good evening!! its a new year and a new challenge once again!! i am in the fourth year now!! a big lady... i am too excited with the hospital,the teachers ,the cases.. and too low with the sufferings of the patients..the EYE-ward is going oon.. these people come from far away places.. half of the time sir says.. i am sorry.."today we cant operate come after so and so days" why doesnt he understands that they have to pack up an entire week in one day before they come..they have to fast and save the money to travel.. doesnt he feel a bit different when he says;"its pthysis bulbi" (losing one eye completely..)??its impossible to even imagine what is losing one eye..that dday a cmall child came with one.. it was too depressing...
i know one has to treat the patients as "cases" , i know emotions have no role.. but habits take a long time to change..the EYE ward has been very interesting so far.. i didnt know my Kohl pencil was so bad for me... but i still love it!!(love is blind you see!!)changed Vision.. that is perhaps what they are trying too teach!!

friends i want more wishes for the person referred in the last post..