Spandan-2010

each year i tend to feel a lotttt nostalgic about the four eventful days wrapping my college fest and the competitions!! i deciphered the reason!!!!! coz these four days i tend to run an absolute erratic routine.. and with its end have to revert back to the same old clock!! changes are appreciable sometimes!! but i loved SPANDAN dis year!!!!!!!!!!! indelible memories marked!! some moments will be cherished throughout.....

I love to get exhausted after dancing.. it’s the best way to forget one’s sorrows!! Perhaps.. the best way to detach from the unpitying inanimate environment. But after the brief period of my illness I have lost the incessant energy that I used to possess!! I lose breath easily.. I fall. I cling to myself often during the music.. I look for slow beats!! I hate myself for that.. I want to keep on dancing.. on and on.. I love the swirls.. I love the bends.. I love the head roll-ons.. I love the varied forms of dancing.. I love bharatnatyam.. I love kathak.. I love contemporary, though my flexibility is limited..
And I love the smile after I get tired..
Well people dance when in love.. but then why most of the dance forms point to sorrows?? Indicate that they have been deceived. The oblivion is manifested. And presented as a form.. Strange are the ways.. But am in love with this eccentric form of art so much so that I wish I was a superwomen who would harbor infinite energy to go on with the beats.. A friend of mine said I dance nice though he has never seen me dancing.. on being asked for the reason for the comment, he said coz, I glow with bliss when I talk about dance..

But I still am incomplete.. once in my lifetime I wish to learn bailey.. Its still an astonishment for me!

A sms received from ma fren read this:

I've learnt.

I came alone and I'v to go alone

people will call you only when they need you
not otherwise

a simple lie from your close one can break you
more than anything

Its very hard to weep alone when there's
no shoulder to support you

Ultimately I v learnt
Help people but not beyond your dignity....

Intermittent euphoria....

Its elegant to ogle at the rains falling..The coconut tree far away sways charmingly to the tunes.. It’s a beautiful morning.. the clouds have masked the sun to make the shades of grey prominent. The curtains are brushing softly against my face.. I am diffident.. The softness of the rains still make me hide my face away. Its been a long time that I have had my own life within hands.. I have always wished to fly.. but somehow I missed my wings..
today once gain after many days I am with me.. for the past many days I have been quite busy with some work.. a kind of venture which will lead to some moments of happiness at the end..
I often think that the cosmos understands what your stance is ..and it’s eventually the efforts put in by your own soul that results in the completion of the wishes. Empathy, solace and impetus are given by your own mind,supposedly the bravest warrior.. and then you win.. I have been doing it rather trying to win over my heart over quite a long period of time. I have ratified quite a number of wishes made by my naive heart.. I gifted myself some special gifts.. I kept my self busy and I also tried to stay away from all the controversies.. I gave my self some good bouts of concentration along with some episodes of happiness..

I have tried to stay NO to many situations.. to many people ..to many guidelines.. This cheery nature has incessantly led to troubles.. I have tried to change it enthusiastically but have botched.. i have got mystified…

which one is wrong-- Being the Way I AM for the last 22 yrs or Not Being the Way,the other people are for the last, ‘n’ years..??

:(

i hate those dwarfs f my college.. i hate them coz not only they have a extremely short "mind" but also they are short of manners and ethics.. i m high on patience as far as raging me is concerned..but why do i keep hurting myself for some worthy reasons which i myself wanna mark as useless??
is being the part of new experiments wrong?? as the main experimental part??

Eye-the different vision..

good evening!! its a new year and a new challenge once again!! i am in the fourth year now!! a big lady... i am too excited with the hospital,the teachers ,the cases.. and too low with the sufferings of the patients..the EYE-ward is going oon.. these people come from far away places.. half of the time sir says.. i am sorry.."today we cant operate come after so and so days" why doesnt he understands that they have to pack up an entire week in one day before they come..they have to fast and save the money to travel.. doesnt he feel a bit different when he says;"its pthysis bulbi" (losing one eye completely..)??its impossible to even imagine what is losing one eye..that dday a cmall child came with one.. it was too depressing...
i know one has to treat the patients as "cases" , i know emotions have no role.. but habits take a long time to change..the EYE ward has been very interesting so far.. i didnt know my Kohl pencil was so bad for me... but i still love it!!(love is blind you see!!)changed Vision.. that is perhaps what they are trying too teach!!

friends i want more wishes for the person referred in the last post..

Sunken

“She is on the other side of the rainbow.. she doesn’t possess any of the negative qualities as that in aries, leo, saggitarious .. She is soft and subtle.. Her mood fluctuates two times a day and four times a month.. Influenced by he moon changes.. The moon rays on her face changes her instantaneously.. she becomes imaginative.. and can take you to a different planet by that imaginations..”

the Cancer woman
courtesy- Linda Goodman..(sun signs)

the only one thing that has kept me ablaze is this..

things have not been in proper places for many months now.. I have changed people say.... I try too suppress my heart as it starts being biased to this statement..
I am in fourth year now.. A big girl.. Had it been engg. It would have been my final year.. However thanks to the ceaseless medical course.. people now and then ask me medicine for their various problems.. I fear I don’t know medicine.. I say its in the final year course.. But believe me I want to cure them.. (Though most of the complainants are psychologically more ill..) I can’t comment on that....i wish I was a good doctor.. I don’t know how to become one.. I cant bear the sufferings of the patient and the family.. yesterday I visited someone in the hospital.. I spent the entire evening crying.. I know doctors shouldn’t be emotional.. but I cant help being inclined towards the moon.. I am a cancerian myself….i wish in the five and a half year of MBBS course they taught how to perform magic on the patients… it would have been better that to pen down the expensive prescriptions.

Friends I want good wishes for an ill person. I don’t want to write the name. but please pray, so that he is saved.. Please ask God to be a bit generous to him and his family..

V-day..

Happy valentines day! I knw I am writing after a loooong time.. but actually I had lots to write but unfortunately, my keyboard was out of order!! I was in home.. have to repair it!!!

Yet like the past 21 valentines day, I spent the day with my “just”-friends…. And maybe I enjoyed coz I don’t have that so called “boy friend”!! I had a lovely time today and believe me its my best valentines day!!
I went to EDEN for the INDIA V/S SOUTH AFRICA match!! thanks to my maternal uncle for the tickets!! SA was batting.. they were 228/1 when prithwi and ipsita left!!!! And then it started!! At the end of day one.. the score was 264/9….zaheer khan-3, bhajjy-3, amit misra -1 and ishant sharma-1 and one run out..
We howled like anything.. my voice is badly broken!!(smiles)

But for me this day is a bit more special..
I helped a small boy to meet his lost father.. he was on the verge of crying when I called his father up and led him to his “paa”..

The best gift that I got today was a message from the ecstatic dad… “madam. Thankyou.. you so much 4 all the troubles u took 4 my kid”